"...one poor little monkey ... the others were all picking on him... so I went slowly across to him and... punched him in the face. They made me Monkey Mayor!" - Harry Hill

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" - Charlton Heston - "Planet of the Apes"

"'Ave you got a Lissence fer yer Minkey?" - Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers) - "The Return of the Pink Panther"

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.” - Winston Churchill

“We named the monkey 'Jack'"- Captain Barbossa in "Pirates of the Caribbean" (informing Jack Sparrow that he hadn't been addressing him)

“In discarding the monkey and substituting man, our Father in Heaven did the monkey an undeserved injustice” - Mark Twain

“Slowly, Slowly Catchee Monkey” - Terry Brooks(Phil Daniels) in "Time Gentlemen Please" (Comedic misquote of "Softly, Softly Catchee Monkey")

“In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us ” - Jay(Jason Mewes) in "Jay and Silent Bob strike Back"

Facts

The actress Evangeline Lilly from "Lost" has the nickname "Monkey".

...And, according to my mate Kieran, the difference between an ape and a monkey is that a monkey has a tail. So maybe Evangeline has a secret? Hope not!